Strangely enough I find myself reminiscing on past men, and not even ones that I was involved with, except for one. Maybe beacuse all but that one never had the chance to disapoint me.
I find myself forgetting to smoke my cigarette.
I wonder if I ever will actually understand what is going on.

Today has been an emotional roller coster, and I've only been awake for 2 hours. I wake up to half naked pictures of an uber hottie (yaaaaaaay) in the shower I get a phone call letting me know that another one of my friends was murdered last night (crash), but then I get a phone call from Julian which makes my heart jump with happiness. But overall I am still on the verge of tears. I just saw my friend like two weeks ago at the club. He was doing great. He cleaned up completely and was doing freaking great, and some asshole shot him cause he wouldn't let himself be robbed. It's like the second time this year that someone I know was murdered, and it was only 2.5 years ago that Tamar was murdered, and like 1.5 years ago that Amber was found dead. This is ridiculous!