The date went ok... but here is a rule for dudes, just cause you get away with a kiss doesn't mean you can start grabbing everything that's around.

I keep getting more and more confident all the time. So confident in fact that for the first time in like... ever I feel comfortable enough to post pictures of myself in full view while wearing a bikini. Yes ma'am. The outfit is what I wore on the date the blue bikini is what I wore underneath.






Didn't have the energy to get to new york today so I called out, I need to go there tomorrow, sunday and monday anyway. Hopefully due to all that working it will be a cheap weekend. The only thing hurting my pocket should be the drive to my sisters house. I spent most of the day at Crystal diner, 5 hours to be exact. Unable to make up my mind wether or not I wanted Levi to show or not to show. I mean I guess it's good that we haven't run into each other, but there is always that possibility of running into him, and the suspense is killing me and I think I just rather get it over with. I don't really have any expectations... unfortunately the realization that I never knew him at all is making me unable to presume what may or may not happen. It's like a blank canvas. And while I might have made some preliminary sketches... I haven't been able to put down anything permanent.

Was supposed to chill with Ty but he decided to stay home. Rain date is tomorrow.

I'm almost out of cigarettes... and don't really feel like spending money on another pack.

I wonder if I could survive a week without smoking a cig, a dutch, or drinking alcohol. What if I took my vices away... what would happen. Unfortunately I'm constantly in an environment where that is made to be extremely difficult... and I haven't had any urge for self control. I've become controling with my diet... maybe once I get it down packed I can apply the same principles to other aspects of my life. But till then I will be... not an addict, and not dissfunctional, but I guess I will be under the influence, or viced. Haha, I came up with a word.