I stopped thinking rationally. I just think like a moron now. I hide from problems, I don't even have energy to run anymore, so I just crawl in to my closet and hide. I lie, I get snappy, I quit jobs, I flip out. There is only person person that I love and that I am happy around, and that I feel ok around. And even he sees the worst of me sometimes. And he's in the same place as I am so there is nothing either one of us can do for one another. I just hope we can grow together. But I don't know how to grow, I only know how to shrink, and stand still. So I am trying to hard to at least stand still because I am scared that if I move in any direction my feet will only move backwards. The Human Condition.